i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
