would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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