I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize