She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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