A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
