I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
