I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
