It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Is it penis luge time yet?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
