i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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