Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
