I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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