and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize