matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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