this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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