One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize