I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize