ugly people sure do ruin things
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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