So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
