Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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