i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
