youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
