idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm like, not good at living.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize