I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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