I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
