I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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