she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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