Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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