I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
