Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
pop tarts are not kleenex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Randomize
