I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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