Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
