16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
