Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
