Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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