I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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