dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
love makes seman taste better
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
