you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
