Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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