Me. At least after what I've been through.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
