I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
