Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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