Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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