my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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