It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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