This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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