shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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