On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
