im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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