How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
