Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i love accidental penises.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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