We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
