I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
