His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
