i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
