I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
