if you like me you must not know who I am
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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