i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
