finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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