Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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