you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
