DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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